Falling Out

Drama! Can I not have a week where I don't feel the rug has been pulled out from under my feet?!

Let's begin with last week-end, shall we?

It was my week-end to have the kids, and Steve arrived Friday night with Abigail in tow, ready for a couple days of fun and frolic (ha!) I fed the kids and then left the younger three in Steve's capable hands while JA, Troy and I had had a pow-wow. Over all, it was successful, but my stomach was really griping me. I thought it was nerves.

I was wrong.

About 11:30 pm, I began what turned out to be nearly 24 hours of pure hell, beginning with projectile vomiting and progressing to the worst migraine of my life, complete with excruciating neck, back, sciatic, and leg pain.

Steve was a trooper- he got the kids up and ready the next morning (after having taken care of me all night,) got them loaded into my mom's car for an outing with her, cleaned up the house, and tried to contact Abby's mom to get her out of the sick-house and back home (which didn't happen until some time later.)

In the meantime, I called Troy and asked him to take the kids for the remainder of the week-end, and he agreed; Mom would get the kids' stuff and take them over to his house soon as they got back from their outing. Steve put together their basket of clothes as best he could, and we waited. Long story short: Mom arrived with JJ, and when JJ walked into the house, he copped a giant attitude and said to Steve: "Why is Abby still here? What are you- stupid?"

Now understand, the week-end before this, JJ had called Steve a MF'er on the phone and told him to suck his balls (Thank you, JA and South Park!) He thought he was being funny, but Steve wasn't laughing; he let JJ know that he was never to call him that again or (and I quote) "...your ass is mine!"

So the 'stupid' comment hit Steve the wrong way. He grabbed JJ by the shoulder and flipped him around to face him, telling him, "Don't you ever call me stupid again, young man!" and stared him down. Steve let JJ know he meant business, and I heartily agree with his method; Steve is a patient man, and JJ seriously needed an attitude adjustment. Bravo- we are all going to be under the same roof soon, and if Steve does not command respect now, then our home life could be hell.

However (and there is always a 'however' in my life, isn't there?) my mother had a CONNIPTION over this. More on that later...

Ultimately, because of my condition, I ended up taking a ride in an ambulance to the hospital where they poked me with needles, hooked me up to an IV, and (much later) gave me some lovely drugs. After getting me into the ambulance, Steve called Mom to let her know what was happening, then headed over to S- L- and had to hunt down Abby's mother. Mom ended up getting to the hospital ahead of Steve, and from the time she got there until Steve arrived, she took the opportunity to rip me up one side and down the other about Steve.

Mind you, during her tirade, I was curled up in the fetal position on a cot in triage, dry-heaving and praying to God to let me pass out from the pain in my head and back. Even just lying there was murder- there was no position without pain, and I couldn't keep down any medication whatsoever. So she blasted me again and again, telling me what a nasty bastard Steve is, how he treats me like sh*t, how he treats my children like sh*t, etc, etc. The woman has been around him four times, during which Steve has been nothing but good to us (as always), and she comes up with this garbage.

I know, I know- she isn't 'right'; she has issues and needs help, but refuses to get it. She is schitzophrenic, and this is just part of her disease. She has no internal stops, no discernment, and on top of that, she is bitter and hateful. I know. But there is no excuse for her behavior.

But I digress.

After Steve arrived, she stifled her attack on him, but proceeded to verbally damn everyone and everything else in her life, especially my dad and my step-mom. Steve's eyes were huge with disbelief as she growled how she can't wait to see them both dead, that they would do the world a favor if they both would just die, since they don't deserve to live. It would take a month to repeat all the poison she was spouting- and with me lying there in agony, trying not to puke or even move! I gave deflecting answers and comments in response when I could- keeping calm, remembering who is the sane one between us. But to no avail. Unable to rile me, her attacks became personal- how she wished she had left my dad in 1969, then she wouldn't have ever had any G-D kids, she would have married for money and had a great life, and on and on and on... then she started on JA coming to live with me instead of staying in O'town.

Basically, she believes Troy copped out (and he probably did.) If she could, she spat, she would move to O-town herself and let JA live with her. (Fat chance!) I told her this was a parental decision, and that JA's own actions had led to this decision- namely him flunking out of school and fornicating on my bed! That really set her off- "Well, what were you doing at 16?" she asked; "Funny how what goes around comes around!"

"At 16?" I asked. "I was celibate that year," I said quietly.

"Oh, I forgot- that was the year before," she replied. "Oops! Maybe I shouldn't have said that," she added mockingly.

"There isn't anything Steve doesn't know about me," I shot back, "so you won't shock him. And this my kid, no me; I care too much about him to stand back and let him screw up his life like I could have. He's too smart for that, and I don't want him to waste his brains."

She wasn't finished. "Yeah, the one who had all the ability, all the brains, the one to whom everything came so easily, and you blew it!" she said. "And your sister, who had to work so hard for it, is the one with the Master's Degree!"

By this time, the meds they had given me were kicking in, and my pain was subsiding. And I was getting pissed. "And now she is $60,000 in debt to student loans and she's married to Creighton!" I shot back. Touche. Silently I added: $60,000 my 'worthless' dad cosigned for and is now ruining his credit. And she's a closeted lesbian, on top of being a condescending, mercenary, social-climbing snob. Teaching in a school she hates and unable to quit because their lifestyle demands it.

She left shortly thereafter. Steve took care of me the rest of the night and into the next day until he had to leave for home, then she called me that night and started in on me again. Digging up dirt from my past and flinging it at me, questioning my perceptions and sanity, pegging me for every 'wrong-doing' she could remember. I had had enough- I finally told her she needed help and hung up on her.

I haven't heard from her since, and I don't expect to.

JJ knows a little of it, but not much- my mother has always considered JJ her kid, and has used him on many occasions to try to get back at my dad, and at me, for not choosing sides between my parents. She has told him things about her life, about my dad, and about other stuff no kid should ever have to know (going specifically against my wishes- a kid does not need to know the gory details about his grandparents' or parents' divorce; it only hurts the kid, but she is too wacko to understand this.) I have made parental decisions- the best decisions I know how to make, keeping my kids' interests and well-being paramount- but she does not feel the need to respect these decisions. In fact, it is her delight to cause as much trouble and discord as she can!

I'm done. And if the rest of my family cannot understand this, it is their problem, not mine.

Enough!