Snow

"On freshly fallen, silent shrouded snow..." - Simon & Garfunkel

There is nothing more beautiful than gray tree brances dusted with snow, reaching into a powder-blue sky. This was the sight that greeted me this morning on my way to work- cold and clear, slushy streets, broken cornstalks pushing up through patches of snow... yet along the horizon, perfect beauty.

I love snow. There is nothing more inviting than the thought of Steve and me in a hot tub, looking out over a snow-covered landscape through frosty panes of glass. When I lived in Monticello, our 100+ year old farmhouse had two set-in porches on the west side of the house which had, at one time, been open. They had been fitted with floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors in recent years, but Allerton Park had kept the original wrought iron accents, and I always envisioned the down-stairs porch as the perfect place for a hot tub.

I guess it is bad to imagine Steve and me there when I lived there with the ex, but it's my fantasy- so I can imagine anything I want. Just us, sharing a nice bottle of wine, watching the snow fall while soaking in the hot tub.

And later, we could start a nice fire in the hearth and get BIZZAY!

(Come on, I am ME, you know...)

An Open Letter

Dear Little Old People on the Road Between 6:30 am and 8:30 am:

Do you ever wonder why other cars are tailgating you so close, you can't read their license plates? Have you ever fiddled with your hearing aid, asking yourself if that honking noise is coming from a low battery, or the vehicles in your immediate vicinity? Do you ever wonder why other drivers are shooting you evil looks or mouthing obscenities at you as they pass by?

I'll clue you in: DRIVE THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT!

I am not generally a rude person, and I believe in respecting my elders, but when employed people are trying to get to work on time, your asses should be at home, not on the roadways (and certainly not in the passing lane!) unless you can MOVE WITH A PURPOSE. I don't care if you need milk for breakfast, or if there is an early-bird special at the I-Hop, or if you're desperately trying to sneak home from your geriatric girlfriend's house after a night of old people sex before your kids and grandkids find out. If you can't drive the speed limit, stay off the frickin' road until I am at work!

Brain Farts

Okay. So I missed a mandatory fitness staff meeting yesterday.

WTF???

I swear my mind is slowly beginning to atrophy.

Ho hum. Sunday night blues. Got most of my Christmas shopping done this week end. Steve and I used Friday for the girls and Saturday for the boys- even though Josh and Scott are probably going to end up with some cash since we are drawing blanks on what to get them. It doesn't help when I call Josh and ask him about certain games, (his favorite type of gift,) only to be told that either his dad or grandma have already gotten THAT. So far Josh has an MP3 player. Exciting! Steve suggested a subscription to a nudie magazine or a blow up doll, but I graciously declined. Perv.

Then we got a lovely blanket of snow- I love it!- which made for a long day indoors with all the kids under foot. And we didn't get a Christmas tree yet! UGH!

However- waking up with Steve is just heavenly. We keep the bedroom door open all night- just to show the kids there is no hanky panky going on, even though most of them don't even understand hanky-panky yet- but snuggling with him has got to be one of the greatest pleasures of my life. I never knew a man could be so affectionate, so loving- especially toward me. For so long, I hated myself for wanting and needing such things, things my ex would not and could not ever give (he always told me I was just 'needy'.) In such situations, one begins to feel that there must be something drastically wrong with oneself; something that makes one unworthy, unlovable. Now I know better.

And just for the record- I am humbled and utterly blown away by the devotion he shows me. The unconditional love, the acceptance of me just the way I am, the mutual giving. This love is crazy, reckless, and totally perfect. Still can't believe it at times, but I mean to enjoy every minute of it.

Cookie Time!

Grace and Abby have happy cookie faces. And who isn't happy when mom makes homemade peanut butter cookies?!!Lord, cheesy!
The center is the best part.
Even homies enjoy mom's cookies.
Abby heartily approves!

Christmas Program

Pre-show posing. JE has a million friends, most of whom are female. Scary.
JE singing. He loves to sing- always has- and he performs with gusto. definately not his father's genes! (Notice our friend Cameron in the foreground.)
Baby G in her Christmas dress, getting ready for her debut.
Blurry Baby G.

So last night was the grade school Christmas program (duh!) Troy and his family sat in the top of the bleachers while my parents and I sat in the gym-floor chairs on the aisle. (Better for photography!) Yes- my parents sat 'together' (well, Mom sat in front of Dad and me.) And they were civil. I guess it's a start.

It was odd to be there sans husband, but liberating at the same time. No uncomfortable man sitting next to me, watching the crowd with rising anxiety, never cracking a smile or interacting with me. Looking over my head, half-bored/half panicked, stiff and unfriendly. No dashing through the crowd to get to the car ASAP, hauling the kids out by their coats. I was actually able to relax and enjoy myself.

And... Steve went home early from work from illness. He also had his first PT today for his tricep. He is, in a word, surly. Wish he was here in my bed, waiting for me, but I guess I can wait for this week-end.

Oh, and I'm not pregnant, but Jessica (Y boss) is!

Something Yummy This Way Poureth...

Wild Vines Blackberry Merlot. Cheap, delicious and effective.

Just like me!

Outdoor Fun

JJ, JE, Emily, JA, and Baby G in the tower
JE, Emily, and Baby G
JE, otherwise known as 'Steen'!
Rum, anyone?
Baby G and her seashells

This was Thanksgving at the Cabin this year, and what turned out to be a bit of a family dud rather than family fun. Normally I love living history recreations- Civil War Re-enactments, historical site interpretation, etc. But I realise my children have the attention spans of gnats, and so my fun is usually short, sweet, and to the point.



Knowing this, I was still determined to have a good time. The park interpreters prepared a traditional early-settler's Thanksgiving dinner (fried corn bread, pumpkin roasted in its shell, cranberry relish) and I knew the kids would like to sample a bit of everything, so I planned a quick visit at the cabin, a short nature walk on a mini-trail, then a sojourn to the playground at the visitor's center. But the best laid plans.... usually end up in shreds.



First of all, my mother decided to come along. Never a good idea, unless I have another adult there to temper her tongue. She takes every opportunity to blast me, and I find if I have witness, she keeps it to herself. And of course, she had Emily with her (she takes her every Sunday so my sister and her husband can pretend to minister.) Think 11 year old girl going on 17 who has no siblings... Let's just say the two of them together were too much for me, and I found myself wishing I'd brought the kids by myself.



But I got some great pix!!!

Steve

Steve is having a h*ll of time lately. Right now he is deathly ill- probably got it from me- and when a man who is NEVER sick gets the flu, he becomes a real BEAR. I insisted he go to the walk-in clinic Saturday afternoon and he got some antibiotics, but the poor man is just miserable. He coughed for two hours Sat night and has not been able to get warm for several days.

On top of this, I think he tore a tricep muscle a few weeks back. Every time he tries to lift (or even function!) it kills him. So today he is on his way to CMI for an X-ray and another doctor appt. Fun, fun- he hates doctors.

To make matters even more interesting, he spent almost a full week in Tifton getting equipment ready and people down there trained (lots of travel,) then came back to a Cluster F*ck In D'ville, since no one seems to be able to function without him.

And he has a face-to-face interview in SPI Friday. Spring field may be a fight with the ex, but it is certainly closer that Georgia.

Pray for him.