Update

I apologise for not blogging much as of late- life has been moving along at break-neck speed and most of the time I am just holding on, trying not to fall off!

Steve goes to Georgia this week-end, and this also happens to be my week-end to have the kids. (Troy is having hernia surgery Friday- hope to God his mother or someone will be there to help him!) I have plenty to keep the munchkins busy- the Y holiday potluck Saturday night, Thanksgiving at the Cabin at our favorite county park, free bowling Sunday afternoon... but I have a feeling it will still be a long 2-3 days. Blah.

And the Y wants me to come back on an almost-full time basis and my boss is trying to make it worth my while monetarily. Will it be enough to purchase my own health insurance, though? I know I have a sure thing where I am- complete with benefits and retirement- and I really enjoy what I do, but I don't love it the way I loved working in fitness. And I work so many hours now that when I do teach classes Mon/Wed nights, I almost dread going in. Decisions, decisions... If Steve and I were married (yes, he supports my going back to the Y full-heartedly,) I would go back tomorrow. But we're not married and I have to take care of me right now.

More later.

DUNZO!

Well, I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later: JA and Sh'Elizabeth are officially done and over with. We saw the writing on the wall when he got back from South Carolina- the phone calls were few, far between, and brief; she never invited him out with her family anymore; she never had time for him or accepted his invitations. I know, I know- 15 year old angst. But he is just devastated, and I guess the break up has polarized their friends.

Thank God for Jordan, Shep, and Zach- they have kept him sane.

I know it is of little consolation, but there are plenty of other young ladies who wouldn't mind taking her place- a Mama just knows these things (especially when she watches the little hussies around her son!) No rebounding, baby- just roll with it.

Party Til Ya Puke!

Party #2 Saturday, after soccer. Green punch, fall-themed cupcakes, and friends galore. What more could a boy want?
Cameron, Abby, and Grace making birthday cards for Jon. They were all very insulting, but I guess it's the thought that counts.
Cameron with a mouthful of cake.
And Baby G- Sunday, just cuz she's cute.

Birthday Boy (Finally!)

Birthday morning! Look- he's actually smiling! (Unlike his school pictures, which are being sent back. Ugh!) My little man is ten years old now; all day at work, I kept writing "10/10/97" instead of "10/10/07". I can't believe he has ben with me a whole decade.
And here is JJ with his (first) cake Friday night after my dad and step-mom brought us fried chicken (his fave) for his birthday dinner. I can rarely get even a tiny grin out of this kid, so this smile is priceless (I told him to say 'I like boobies!')
JE and Baby G enjoying the party.
And here is JA with the birthday boy. Let's just say JA and I had an altercation after this was taken- on the day of one's brother's birthday, one should not be calling Grandparents for a visit, and when Mother says you may visit said grandparents at SEVEN O'CLOCK, one should not tell them to arrive at SIX. It's just not kosher.

It Just Gets Better

So. Is he coming for dinner, or is he staying there with Abby? Are they both coming? For dinner/cake? Overnight? Is he coming over by himself later?

I am so confused.

On a side note: when will services be? Are Steve's parents coming? (He called them this morning.)

Again, I am so confused.

And Friday Continues...

So I guess Steve is off work, but Abby is not coming over tonight because her mom wants to see her (Hell is now partially frozen over.) Steve came to see me at work, and he is really taking this hard- such a tough exterior, such a tender heart. I held him for as long as I could (since I wasn't on break,) then he left to go to Loretta's house to be there for the family. (Jess was already there and Michael was on his way.) And he wants to be the one to get Abby off the bus- for obvious reasons.

So I called a couple minutes ago and I guess he is doing better- staying strong, stoic- and they are trying to clean up the house and get things organized (???) Then had to get off the phone because 'everyone's just getting here.' Everyone. Guess that includes the ex. Hope her boy-toy is around; I don't trust that bitch any farther than I can throw her, but I know she'll mind her manners with Mike around.

I told Steve to hang in there and do what he had to do. I'll try to get him again on break.

Malfunction

I was going to post pictures on JJ's birthday (Wednesday) but 1.) my digital camera only took one decent picture that day (the rest are dark for some reason,) and 2.) I tried loading that picture into Blogger, but it won't load. WTF?

Wednesday might have technically been his birthday, but our real festivities will start tonight. Dad and Pat are going to bring over some fried chicken (which JJ loves,) and we will have cake and ice cream for dessert. Then, tomorrow after the soccer games, Mom and maybe Amanda will be over for more goodies and celebrating. Then Troy has a party for him Sunday after church!! I will try to post the pics I get this week end, but no guarantees.

NEWS FLASH: Steve just called. Loretta passed early this morning. He is really upset (understandably,) and now has to figure out how to organize this week end. He is getting Abby off the bus and I asked him to bring her to my house for a sleep over so he can work. I will take her to the games with me tomorrow if he has to work again, and we will go from there.

More later- my break just ended.

Cluster F*ck

Okay. So the plant where Steve is employed is officially shutting its doors in 12 to 18 months. WTF??? This company has been in town for over fifty years. It is a manufacturing icon of the city. When other plants laid workers off, down-sized, out-sourced, or closed their door altogether, this plant stayed profitable. Now it will be just another empty manufacturing building in a (small) city where manufacturing was once king.

Sad.

But what is even sadder is that, after almost ten years, Steve is going to have to start over again. The company has offered him a job in their Georgia plant- with better pay and excellent benefits, including a relocation packaage-they are even flying their employees down for a week end to scout the terrain. But Georgia is a long way from Abby (unless he gets custody,) even farther from Scott, and way too far from me. I promised Troy I would not take his kids away from him, and I mean to keep my promise. If it was just me, we'd be gone at the first opportunity- but it's not just me. It's my life, plus the lives of four kids. I have uprooted them enough in their short lives, and they have weathered an enormous storm since their dad and I split up. I just couldn't do this to them.

D'town? Yep. CMI? You bet. Even Lafayette. But not Georgia.

Game Day

Yes, folks, I attended my very first college football game this week-end. Had it not been for the 90+ degree heat, I would have enjoyed it immensely. It was a good game, and any day with Steve is a good day, but I DON'T DO HEAT. (And WTF? It is October, and everybody knows football is best enjoyed while wrapped in a stadium blanket, sipping hot chocolate, and shivering.) The Illini won over Wisconsin (I am an Illini fan/Steve is a Wisconsin fan...) but it was still a very enjoyable day. Next time, however, we will leave much earlier and get more info on parking. THAT was a nightmare!
Look at that sea of Orange! The only thing missing was the Chief- who was abolished last year. !@#$% PC BS! BRING BACK THE CHIEF!!!
And here is my Steve, eating breakfast at Micky D's. We were both half-pukey from the grease, but it was better than nothing. God, I love that man!

Week End Recovery and an Adventure in Lutheran-land!

One of the nicest perks about working for the county is having 14 paid holidays per year, and today is one of them. If I were truly patriotic (or still home schooling,) I would use the next 24 hours to study Christopher Columbus and his contribution to the founding of our nation, the Native Americans he helped to eradicate, or the era of exploration in general. Instead, I will probably end up cleaning house (it truly needs it,) geting laundry done (with a rented dryer since mine bit the dust two days ago and cannot be fixed until whenever,) and enjoying a day at home with my kiddos. I still have to teach class at the Y tonight, but until them I am going to be in full-Mom mode. Care to join me?

I think I will also take this opportunity to describe my adventures in Lutheran-land!

Let me first preface this part of the post by saying my spiritual life is very important to me. My personal beliefs are the very core of who I am and they shape and color every area of my life. I was 'raised' (ha!) in a conservative Baptist church where Bible-banging, finger-pointing, and denominational back biting were part of every service. Legalism was preached as gospel truth, yet the love, mercy, and power of Christ were glaringly absent. And let's just say their position on women was archaic (my mother had a field day with THAT!) I was born again and baptised, and inside of me I knew there had to be more to my Christianity than a bunch of man-made rules and fake meekness (my Spirit knew the Truth!) but I certainly did not find it there.

Unfortunately, this church also believed they held the patent on salvation. All other churches/denominations had it wrong: the only way to heaven was the Baptist way (Conservative Baptist, not American Baptist, Freewill Baptist, Southern Baptist....) Interdenominational mingling or activities or alliances were strongly discouraged.

Needless to say, as an adult, I found this to be False Doctrine. About seven years ago I met a group of dynamic Christian women- bold, passionate Charismatic Sistas!- and my life has never been the same. My church- New Life- has been my very life blood ever since, and I have grown by leaps and bounds. Such liberty! Such joy! Such power! I am no spiritual giant, but I can definitely say I can see a difference.

Enter Steve. Steve was raised- literally- in the Lutheran church. And this 'raising' was not merely church on Sundays, either- he was an accolite (sp) in choir, confirmed (three years of catechism!) baptised, and basically steeped in the church. His parents' faith is a wondrous thing- strong and pure- and they made sure their children knew who they were as Lutherans just as surely as they knew who they were as their offspring. (I admire this- shared faith is powerful, and I could tell upon our first serious conversation that he was raised right- the man he is in his inner-most core is the man they raised him to be, the mna God designed him to be.)

Steve's spiritual journey has been a long process. He backed away from God for many years, but came back to Him with a passion out of adversity and desperation. And Jesus not only met him half-way, I believe He pursued Steve, grabbed him, and and now has him in a choke hold. His devotion to and love for his church have been at the center of his personal/spiritual 180.

So- I have decided to give Lutheranism a try. I have heard they are just lazy Catholics- thanks, Kara- and, being very Protestant, I was a little worried about that. However, since my own Spiritual awakening, I have found tremendous, profound faith in both my Lutheran and Catholic sisters- the same Spirit!- so off I go...

My take on the Lutheran church (so far): beautiful service, beautiful in its tradition and history. Not oppressive, but definitely a far cry from my holy-rolling, contemporary Charismatic service. The creeds are Biblically sound, the doctrine as well, and to watch Steve at church- to watch the reverence and peace that floods him- is amazing. I will not be unequally yoked ever again, and I spiritual unity is at the top of my priority list.

So. How does one become a Lutheran? Three years of catechism is out of the question!

Blogs

I love to read random blogs. Peeking into peoples' lives from around the globe fascinates me: A baby's first steps in Spain. High Schoolers showing off their boyfriends' pix in Malaysia. Sad song lyrics from Argentina. The locations may be different, but the love and emotion are the same. Universal. Human.

HOWEVER... flipping through random blogs on Blogger can also provide you with some unwelcome surprises, especially when your kids are in the room: Adult Friend Finder!!! I swear these ads are on 1/3 of the blogs I randomly find, and they are pissing me off. I am no prude: there is a time and place for porn (swingers? No thank you...) But that time and place is NOT when I am not expecting it.

Blogger, clean up you act, or at least give me a warning!

Please knock. PLEASE!

Okay. Since the kids stayed with their dad last night and I knew Steve and I would have to leave early for the Illini game this morning, we decided he'd sleep over at my house instead of vice-versa. All well and good. I went to bed before eleven, he got in about 12:30, and we had a Magical Night of Passion. (Notice the caps.)

Being accustomed as I am to waking early, my eyes popped open at about 7:30. Since I was still warm and sleepy and half-drugged from the multiple O's of the night before, I decided an early-morning quickie would be a perfect way to start the day (and Steve heartily agreed.) So, as we are getting down to business- LOUD business- he suddenly stops and whispers, "I hear foot steps!"

Talk about an abrupt jolt back to reality! Just as I whipped my nightgown over my head, I hear the unmistakable sound of JJ and JE chatting in the dining room. I poked my head out the half-open bedroom door (as Steve dived under the covers!) and asked them if they needed any help.

"Nope, we just got JE's soccer shorts" JJ replied and he and his little brother headed out the back door. I kissed them both, waved to JA and baby G (and their surly dad,) and breathed a sigh of relief as they backed out the drive.

Now: here are the obvious questions. How long had they been in the house before we heard them? Did they hear the bed banging against the wall or me moaning, "Fuck me!"??? Did they see anything? Did they even realize Steve was with me? Steve doesn't stay over when the kids are home- it's just not kosher with me- so this potential new discovery does not set well with me, and I certainly don't need them going to their dad with said info (not that he doesn't already know...) Did they look in the garage window and see Steve's car?

Oh well, what's done is done.

I think I need a chain lock.

Appalled

I have been totally appalled twice today. Allow me to share:

1.) I was taking my 3:00 break at work, answering my email and minding my own business when I heard a commotion coming from the front counter. It seems an 'older' gentleman (probably slightly older than my dad) who was 95% deaf and 100% delusional was giving my co-worker Amanda the very devil. Yelling in broken, hearing-impaired English, he asked a million questions, one on top of the other (and there is nothing wrong with questions, but puhlease...) then contradicted her every answer with accusations about our boss, Don ("He is nothing but a lying, thieving Democrat!") about our government, ("They are taxing me to death because they want me to lose my property!") his township assessor, ("That beautiful woman with an evil black heart!) and about the possible repercussions of not lowering his tax bill per his instructions, (My lawyer is Jesus, and I'll tell you right now, you lose!") He was beligerent and agitated, but Amanda kept her cool, answered his every question with honest, straight-forward answers (and even wrote them down for him so he would fully understand!) but he would not be appeased. He began shouting that he hated his life, he wished he could just die, and that he was going to the City Building to start impeachment procedings against Don.

Cheese-and-crackers! I was kinda waiting for someone to press the panic button, but it never happened, even when he started flailing his arms around and actually came in contact with Amanda's person. Later, she said he really didn't bother her- there was a mistake on one of his exemptions and she had corrected it, but with his new assessment, it didn't lower the bill much. I don't know; he sure scared me.

2.) I came home and had the usual mad dash from the time I got in the door- laundry! Dishes! Cleaning! Cooking! And just as I was clearing away the dinner dishes, Baby G spotted our little friend Kameron outside, walking her bike. "Look, it's Kameron!" she yelled. "And she's crying!"

Thinking the little girl was possibly hurt, I asked the boys to go out and invite her in- they dashed outside, then JE came bounding back in, saying, "Some boy tried to kiss Kameron and she's crying!"

Well, we all know little boys sometimes try to steal kisses, but when she got through my back door, I could tell this was no mere case of a some classmate trying to cop a smooch. She was shaking and sobbing- not normal. Long story short: she had been over at one of her classmate's houses (another little second grade boy,) when two older boys (11-12) tried to get her to kiss them. She said no and tried to leave and they knocked her off her bike and held her down, humping against her and trying to force their tongues in her mouth. Another girl (10-11) who was there held her nose and attempted to force her mouth open. I don't know how she managed to get away, but I told her she wasn't going anywhere alone for the rest of the night- I insisted she stay at our house and I tried to contact her parents. The older brother answered, I relayed the story, and soon I received a call from the grandma and then the mom, as well. I then drove Kameron home and told the mom exactly what Troy had told me: call for an O'wood cop, file a report, and start a case. Period.

She said she would, so we left. Oh- did I mention the father of one of the 11 year olds is the town's biggest drug dealer??? And that, at the Home Coming Parade, his coked-out whore of a wife threatened JA because he picked up a Starburst from in front of her kid?? Lovely. I guess the dad is one of those wirey ass-holes who beats his wife and considers himself a Big Man. Well, bring it, Bastard. I'll sick my ex-husband and my boyfriend all over your wienie ass if you so much as look cross-eyed at my kid.

White trash.