Home Coming

Yes, folks, it's that time of year again: the weather cools off (then gets frickin' hot again the next week!) the corn gets harvested, leaves start to turn, (well, in a couple weeks, anyway,) and here in the Land of Tall Corn a young man's fancy turns to FOOTBALL and SEMI-FORMAL DANCES! Home Coming! I will note that our beloved Comets beat the Blue Devils at the game Friday- much to everyone's surprise, since our team is, ahem, struggling- but we all know the real high light of Home Coming is making pretty for the dance. And how pretty can you get? JA and his main squeeze Sh'Elizabeth are lookin' SWEET, if I do say so myself.
In heels, Liz is taller than JA, so he tried to stand a little taller while still snuggling against her sequined back. Cute!
Another shot, slightly different angle.
And Troy, who was chaperone/chauffeur for the evening. The slightly glazed look on his eyes and the half-smile are probably due to his meds, but I'll take what I can get.

May I Vent?

Okay, this might take longer than the 31 minutes I have left for lunch, but I am so agitated, I feel i must vent or I will commit, well, bodily harm to someone. let's take a walk on the b*tchy side, shall we?

An open set of comments to LW- and you KNOW who you are:

1.) About my divorce: these legal procedings are between my ex and me and at the end of them, we shall no longer be married. He and I have already drawn boundary lines in our personal lives, and though I still like, love, and respect members of his family and their extended network of friends and acquaintances, I am no longer one of them. This means that, though I may have wanted to, I will not be sending a get well card to his grandma or aunt, I will go out of my way to ignore them at my childrens' social functions (though I will acknowledge them with a polite nod or 'hello,') and I will restrict my conversations with my ex to only those matters which involve our offspring. In the future, we may be able to have a more cordial relationship, but for right now, this is the way if has to be.

THAT BEING SAID, you will treat him and his family in a like manner. Courting them, petting them, INVITING THEM TO YOUR FAMILY'S FUNCTIONS are unacceptable. Asking HIM about the kids' week-end plans, instead of me, is also dirty and sneaky. When you need to know something, ask me- I am your daughter and the mother of your grandchildren. They reside with me.

I am particularly honked about the whole Uncle-Wayne's-Cookout conversation. You tell me, point blank, that I am not to bring Steve, (did Uncle Wayne stipulate this, or is this something you made up in your own warped brain?) yet you invite Troy behind my back? Not that he would come- social settings make him uncomfortable, my family has always made him uncomfortable, and, quite frankly, he has always had to be DRAGGED to cook outs kicking and screaming. But the fact that the invitation was issued is just WRONG, and you know it.

This is MY divorce, not yours. I know, in your twisted state (schitzophrenia and bi-polar condition) you cannot separate this out. (And when it comes to me, you never have been able to- I am either not what you want me to be- not YOU- and therefore unacceptable, or I am too much like you, and therefore either a threat or someone to hate, since you hate yourself.) Thank God I stopped relying on your opinions of me for self-worth when I was a kid, or I would probably have shot myself long ago. ANYWAY- after 10 years of separation and 8 years post-divorce, you should be able to drop it and walk away, carry on, or at least GET A LIFE; if you cannot and you choose to be a slave to your bitterness and resentment, then you need serious psychological help. PLEASE GET IT.

2.) If you find my ex so appealing, ASK HIM OUT. I realise he has lost nearly 60 pounds since May and has been exercising and eating right- I applaud his efforts. He will live long and live well, which can only be good for our children. I have pleaded with him since 2000 to do this, but I guess I wasn't worth it. Now- if some other 'young chick' (your words, not mine) wants him, she is welcome to him. Good luck to her dealing with his phobias, OCD, and general lack of warmth and passion.

On the other side of the coin, quit bitching at me about MY work out schedule. I have been busting my ass since 2001 and I am not about to stop now, unless I become disabled. I keep myself in top shape by choice- I like to fit into my clothes (can't afford new) and it makes me sleep better and keeps me off depression meds (which you so desperately need.) STEP OFF!

3.) No, I am not pregnant with Steve's baby; even if I was, you would be the LAST person I would tell. You have sucked the joy out of every one of the milestones of my adult life. Don't expect me to come bouncing to you with my news. Holding you at arm's length and telling you only that which is pertinent saves my sanity. And the comment you made about having an abortion was about as sick and low as you could have possible gotten- you now I am pro-life, and you know I love and cherish each of my children, even though 3 were complete unplanned surprises. Surprises are what make life so fun and worth living. I am so GOD DAMNED SORRY that my sister and I were unwelcome mistakes for you, but don't expect me to feel that way about my own children. They are my blessings, even if their dad and I will be divorced.

4.) JA is off limits, and the others may be soon, as well. I know you think of JA as the son you always deserved but never got, but he is MINE. He will toe the line in my house, he will keep his grades up, and he will keep a civil tongue in his head or face the consequences. You are so intent on opposing me at every turn that you cannot see how detrimental inconsistent discipline and outright defiance of parental authority are to kids (not just mine.) Butt out, or stay away. This is my house, these are my kids, and I have the last say. Oh- and if you don't quit telling JJ that Mexicans and Chinese are going to take over our country and we should hate them and discriminate against them, he will no longer be allowed to stay at your house. Ditto the Yugio cards and your opinion of church.

Steve would never hurt my kids and I will be DAMNED if you try to undermine his authority in their lives, as well. If we are going to be together in the same house, there will be love and order. JUST SO YOU KNOW_ Steve is not Troy. Don't cross him, because he has no qualms telling you where you can stick it.

A Perfect Sunday

It just doesn't get any better than this. My Steve, reading the sports scores* (of course!) with his daughter and my Baby G on each knee. He was loved and adored this week end in copious amounts; Abby was a bit miffed having to share him with G, but they'll work it out.

God, I love that man!

*Allow me to explain. Steve loves to watch and play sports. Golf, tennis, (his two favorites,) football, baseball, hockey, basketball... These days, in the 'playing' category, he mostly golfs, swims, and plays racquetball, but he has also been known to enjoy tae kwon do, softball, and all water sports. Having been married to a man for 16 years who HATES to watch sports, I had forgotten how much I love to watch baseball, rugby or lacrosse; it was a running joke for years that I COULD have married a man who was affectionate, loving, and personally engaging, BUT he would probably would be a sports nut, and therefore I was much better off with Frosty the Snowman. I have found that SportsCenter is lots of fun to watch, especially while drinking Margaritas!

We're going to a Wisonsin/Illini football game in a couple weeks, and I cannot wait!

Soccer Saturday

JJ in uniform!

Here we are at yet another Saturday soccer game, watching a passel of sweaty little boys chase a ball up and down a field for an hour. Since every little kid in the county is playing under the D'ville Soccer League banner, the place is a real zoo from about 8 am to about 2 pm every Saturday, cars parked like sardines in the less-than-adequate sized lots. Little kids run around screaming and messing in the dirt while their siblings play. The adults socialize, the moms check each other out taking mental notes on who's married, who's divorced, who's ass is about to bust out of her jeans... (catty!) and the dads watch intently, half-wistful/half- alpha-dad, comparing their kids to the other players and to themselves at that age. It's a real sociology experiment, and behind my sunglasses, I don't believe people watching gets any better than this.

JE (after his game, which he had played earlier,) and Baby G watch Jon kick his way into soccer super-stardom.
And JA and his friend, trying to look studly for the crowd. This hat is beginning to annoy me.

Sh'Elizabeth

Ah, young love. Puppy love. The hand-holding, love-song listening, starry-eyed, this-is-forever kind of love. This is JA's girlfriend, Liz. Not only is she beautoful, but she is alos just about the sweetest, kindest girl you will ever meet. While other teen age girls either present themselves as worldly-wise, in-your-face, aggressive, or down right offensive, Liz is like a breath of fresh air: gentle, innocent (really!) and a perfect Christian lady. The kid knew quality when he saw it! Though I have always said I would not support boyfriend/girlfriend activities in my teen age children, Liz has completely changed my mind.
And here is Liz's darling younger sister, Heidi, with Baby G. Just as sweet and good as Liz, but (alas!) too old for JJ or JE.

Lurve Triangle

This enchanting creature is our friend Cameron. As you may remember, Cameron is JE's age, but comes over to 'play with Baby G'. Here you see Cameron putting the smack down on JJ...
Here she has him pinned to my kitchen floor. As you can tell, JJ was fighting tooth & nail to get away... NOT!
And now JE joins in the fray. This gives a whole new meaning to the term 'menage a trois!'
So Cameron decides to teach JE a lesson in who's boss, as well. Can you tell how much pain she is inflicting? Can you see the agony on his face? Lord have mercy, will no one help the poor lad??

A few hours later, JJ and JE came back inside after painting the town red with this little Siren. And guess what? She is now JE's new girlfriend! Adrienne is NOT going to like this development at all!

(I thought Steve was going to bust a gut laughing at these three. He thinks it's hilarious the way they fight and tumble and flirt; JJ and JE beat the holy living crap out of each other, but when a pretty piece of tail comes around, they are putty in her tiny brown hands!) ENJOY!

Mission: Open House ABORT

Well, Troy and I managed to spend an hour in each other's presence at JJ, JE, and Baby G's Open House and Hell did not freeze over. My camera malfunctioned, so I only got one good pic (JJ and his teacher.) That thing positively eats batteries!

I beleived this outing proved we can be in the same building at the same time within arm's reach of each other- though he was silent and grim most of that hour (so what's new?) The kids were a little stir-crazy having us together again, but we managed. He is NOT happy with me asking about his grandma (who will be having very risky surgery this week,) and his aunt (who was thrown from one of her horses and kicked in the head, resulting in brain swelling,) but hell! We were together 18 years! These people were my family even when my own was absent, negligent, or insane. We may be divorcing, and I am sure they would not piss on me if I was on fire, but I still love them and care what happens to them.

Anyway, it's late, I'm slightly buzzed (love those margarita wine coolers!) and missing my Steve with a passion. It seems the most natural thing in the world that he should be here, falling asleep with me (again, we just FIT. It's crazy.) But I guess I can wait until tomorrow to see him when he comes for dinner.

Remind me later to blog about going to church with him for the first time at a LUTHERAN church..... (because I truly believe you cannot know a person until you know his/her beliefs, and the deepest love two people can share is a shared love of Christ. Unity ROCKS!)

Where To Start?

Lord, it has been a crazy couple of weeks. BUT IT'S ALL GOOD!

The New Job: though I am not at liberty to discuss the particulars, (let's just say I do something very hush-hush for the government.... NOT!) I will tell you that I love my new job. I am beginning as a 'Tech,' since that is part of my job, and being trained as a tech will actually help me step into my other job (same office) as Board of Review Secretary. Confused yet?

I have learned more in the past week than I did in all of my high school years, I guarantee it. I must use investigative skills, clerical skills, communication skills, ( is anyone else thinking Napoleon Dynamite here?) and pure nosiness to get my job done. Perfect for me! And the people I work with are phenomenal- even my boss. Completely professional in front of clients, but total nut balls when the office is empty.

The kids are adjusting nicely to the new schedule. It takes a little more organization and planning on my end, but nothing I can't handle. The worst part of this is the mess I come home to in the evening (ugh! I gave birth to pigs!) and the time I have to sacrifice away from Steve. We're getting through- but suffice it to say he is looking for 1st shift employment.

This week-end was just perfect- Fri/Sat with Steve (and Abby on Saturday night since her grandma is in the hospital,) and Sunday/Monday with the kids and Steve doing family stuff. (JA is coming around and was cordial & funny with him, but still opted to visit my Mom Sun/Mon.) We took in fireworks last night in W'ville, then watched the parade in D'ville this morning, followed by hamburgers on the grill and a house full of kid visitors all afternoon. Steve is so good with them and they have taken to him so well, it's just crazy. It's hard for him to leave- it just seems natural that he should stay. But I have a no-overnight policy while my kids are home and he respects that, period. Until there is a ring on my finger, that is.

More later- must sleep!