Did I STUTTER?

What part of 'No' does JA not understand? Since bringing home his atrocious grades in January, he has been on a very short leash. He is not allowed to go anywhere with the girlfriend and/or her family (not even to their church!) and he has had limited freedom in every other area. And Troy and I decided no Prom, either; when one screws up on such a monumental scale, the punishment should fit the crime, and this was a big time screw up in my book!

However, I think the kid's selective hearing must be in high gear, because the no-Prom thing just hasn't seemed to hit home yet. Last week he comes to me saying Katie's family has offered to pay for his part of Prom night, including buying the ticket, renting his tux, dinner- the whole nine yards. As if money was the issue! No beans- no Prom, JA! Then a few days ago, he shoved a permission slip for post-prom at me to sign, and I had to repeat myself: Prom was out of the picture.

Am I missing something here?

Then he goes to his dad, contrite and humble, telling him that is just isn't fair to Katie that he messes up what could be her only Prom (since she is graduating early.) And since JA is moving away in June, this could be his send-off, his last hurrah...

Troy refused to comment until he talked to me (wise, but WTF? Can he not say 'No' just as well as I can? The story of our lives- let Mom be the bad guy!) When Troy called me later, I repeated my stance: No Prom. Period. He agreed, but I do not appreciate him making me the heavy in this deal. If we are both equal parents, supposedly on the same page, why can he not get with the program???

For the record, I am not a heartless bitch. Does it pain me that he has to miss out? Yes. Do I feel bad about ruining Katie's evening? Yes. I want JA to enjoy himself in every way a (law-abiding) high school student should. I want him to have great opportunities and experiences and memories of his teen-age years instead of looking back with shame and regret. But if I back down now, next year will be a joke. I want him to know I mean business and that his decisions and actions during the next two years will shape his entire future. If he shows improvement, motivation, and industry, there would be no limit to the freedoms and opportunities I would allow him! But if he continues to screw up, I will work him like a Hebrew slave!