An Open Letter

Dear Little Old People on the Road Between 6:30 am and 8:30 am:

Do you ever wonder why other cars are tailgating you so close, you can't read their license plates? Have you ever fiddled with your hearing aid, asking yourself if that honking noise is coming from a low battery, or the vehicles in your immediate vicinity? Do you ever wonder why other drivers are shooting you evil looks or mouthing obscenities at you as they pass by?

I'll clue you in: DRIVE THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT!

I am not generally a rude person, and I believe in respecting my elders, but when employed people are trying to get to work on time, your asses should be at home, not on the roadways (and certainly not in the passing lane!) unless you can MOVE WITH A PURPOSE. I don't care if you need milk for breakfast, or if there is an early-bird special at the I-Hop, or if you're desperately trying to sneak home from your geriatric girlfriend's house after a night of old people sex before your kids and grandkids find out. If you can't drive the speed limit, stay off the frickin' road until I am at work!