Brain Farts

Okay. So I missed a mandatory fitness staff meeting yesterday.

WTF???

I swear my mind is slowly beginning to atrophy.

Ho hum. Sunday night blues. Got most of my Christmas shopping done this week end. Steve and I used Friday for the girls and Saturday for the boys- even though Josh and Scott are probably going to end up with some cash since we are drawing blanks on what to get them. It doesn't help when I call Josh and ask him about certain games, (his favorite type of gift,) only to be told that either his dad or grandma have already gotten THAT. So far Josh has an MP3 player. Exciting! Steve suggested a subscription to a nudie magazine or a blow up doll, but I graciously declined. Perv.

Then we got a lovely blanket of snow- I love it!- which made for a long day indoors with all the kids under foot. And we didn't get a Christmas tree yet! UGH!

However- waking up with Steve is just heavenly. We keep the bedroom door open all night- just to show the kids there is no hanky panky going on, even though most of them don't even understand hanky-panky yet- but snuggling with him has got to be one of the greatest pleasures of my life. I never knew a man could be so affectionate, so loving- especially toward me. For so long, I hated myself for wanting and needing such things, things my ex would not and could not ever give (he always told me I was just 'needy'.) In such situations, one begins to feel that there must be something drastically wrong with oneself; something that makes one unworthy, unlovable. Now I know better.

And just for the record- I am humbled and utterly blown away by the devotion he shows me. The unconditional love, the acceptance of me just the way I am, the mutual giving. This love is crazy, reckless, and totally perfect. Still can't believe it at times, but I mean to enjoy every minute of it.