For Real

Pardon me for not posting for awhile, but in the past two weeks my drama has seriously intensified on a global scale. Allow me to explain.

Here I am, minding my own business, working, parenting, working out, and otherwise enjoying myself as an (almost) single Mommy- you know, the MILFy kind of Mom who enjoys her kids, but also enjoys her job, a good margarita and getting nekkid with her main man on a regular basis. I am planning my move (nine days and counting!) getting the house organized, trying to figure a way to work, parent, and go to school for the next two-to-four years, when.. BAM!!

Fate threw me a serious curveball.

Yes, folks: I am knocked up.

And not yet officially divorced (court date tomorrow.)
And thirty-freaking-seven.
And scared shitless.

Steve and I were both Kodak-moment shocked when we found out. I had 'peed on a stick' a week earlier with negative results- I figured my elevated stress level had disrupted my period, so I didn't worry about it much. Then, when Mother Nature tarried yet another week, I bought another stick, and low and behold: it was positive! But only for about two minutes, then faded off!

As a mother of four who has been pregnant five times (I lost one in '95,) I can assure you I KNOW my EPT's. I am intimately acquainted with the at-home pregnancy test industries in ways most women never dream of being. So Steve ran out and bought me two more (name-brand this time, though generic have always worked before.) These turned positive immediately. After showing them to him, I told him to bend over so I could stick them somewhere!!! (This has been a running joke between us for about a year: if he gets me pregnant, I get to stick the test up his... posterior. It was funny then- not so funny now.)

So. I guess my due date is January 6th, though I will be advocating strongly for a scheduled c-section New Year's Eve, providing all goes well and according to plan. I can laugh about this now- and, as Steve said, we'll just go with it, enjoy it, and live life just like everybody else- but we certainly weren't laughing two weeks ago.

Oh. And we call the baby 'Seven'- since this will be #7 between us.